...So far my saturday..

..This is what happens when you're bored on a saturday night...
Like I mentioned in my latest post I had no plans but today I think I accomplished alot-alot as in went to my favorite nail shop in LI (yup worth the travel), got the special pedicure and manicure and of course including the massages :)
Then went to the city to get my eyebrows done-all nicely shaped :)
I feel sooo good...I needed a lil pampering lol.

...Hold on *sippin' on some wine*

Ok.. I was just watching movies with sis-damn been a while since I spent some time at home and enjoy her company, we made it a movie night.
My friends invited me out to different events but I declined *shrugs*
Well not only my hair look busted lol-so gotta get it done but I'm just not in the mood to do the club scene tonight..Hmm!! I don't know, I guess I'm still going thru my mood and not myself from what happened last night-I just hate being disappointed.
Like I said everything could be prevented!!!

I'm not mad or anything but I'm just not in the mood for the club scene or going out at all. My hair=disaster lol
Not good for the club scene.
I'm also not in the mood to talk or anything...I need some time alone right now.
But I hope they have a good time-which I'm sure they will.
So I'm in bed and about to twitter my fingers away untill I fall asleep lol..I sound like a loser :)

..Now one of my friend just texted me "how are you and her doing?" Her as in ...anyway I replied "there's no her" lol.."we're not even friends anymore, her wants me out her life for good, why? I don't know!" *shrugs*
I even tried to be and to come to an understanding to what really went wrong and what cause the downfall but her obviously didn't care to see and understand where I was coming from. Her rather play the psychic game where she knows it all instead of calling or talk face to face but instead she rather assume the worst of me and that shit hurts and annoying Hmm!!
Sometimes you just gotta keep that lil bit of pride you have left and not let anyone step on it.
Like I keep saying if someone really cares about you or your feelings they would try to respect it and not let anything happen to hurt you...but of course I'm never the lucky one lol....
Funny thing was though I never hated or held a grudge against her...I'm proud of myself for that :)
Seriously I am good....
There's no way you can force someone to be in your life if they want you out!!!!
Hmm!! I do ummmm..
Fuck it!!! Whatever this isn't no personal journal LOL

Anyway I'm having a good night and hopefully have a better sunday :)
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Disappointed *SIGHS*

One thing I really don't understand-why when someone cries or sad about something (which is normal by the way) the other person automatically assume they're weak and can't deal with certain situations? It's not even that, maybe that person express his/her emotions different from you or anyone else-better be that way (healthier) than to react like a mad man lol.


So Wednesday I found out I passed my summer class which I'm sooo HAPPY-thank you my LORD!!
Me the this classmate which she's a friend now (we clicked since the first day of class :)) usually have lunch and drinks after class-she introduced me to some nice restaurants :)
*I just love going to different restaurants/bar and lounges*


...so last night after work I was supposed to be meeting up with my good friend, have dinner and drinks with her.....should I continue with this?
What the heck!?!!
To make it short I got stood up, disappointed-BLAH!!

I'm learning to understand life and things may happen and to stop being selfish. I'm not mad, I'm hurt but I will be ok.
What I don't understand is at least a call would have been nice, anything. That I think I at least deserved.
So I could've done something else and hung out with other friends...
...........

Moving on.......
So today I have no plans...
Let's see Hmm!!
I might just go to the movies alone-sometimes being alone is better-that way you get to stay away from ppl and look within yourself and understand your main priorities and who's really true to you.

I'm feeling some type of way-alot of emotions now...
I miss someone and I just wanna kick myself for that!!! Because obviously that person been moved on and totally forgot about me, or even my number lol...wow funny!!

I just want to have a good day!
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forgiven-HELP!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!

*enters the creative world* Hmm!! just where I belong... I need some opinions, advice, whatever..AYUDARME AMIGAS(OS) lol ...question first: have you ever been hurt by anyone (loved ones, someone you were intimate with, a friend) and they did you wrong/betrayed you when you were so true to them? I understand everybody's different-some may hold a grudge and never forgive that person and some may forgive and work it out and be cool again *shrugs* whatever!! I can honestly say I hold grudges which I'm getting better on letting go....YES I am learning to let go and it's a really good feeling :) ..but what's bothering me>>I've thought about it like everyday, and I asked GOD for forgiveness for my ways and to let go and forgive ppl and their shytty ways towards me.. I want to forgive ppl and try to work things out, I really do-not because of anything other reason-I just want to...hard to believe but I'm a great believer in working things out, giving ppl a chance or a second chanmce and understand my differences and others'. Deep down inside I am afraid. I am afraid of rejection, I am afraid of being looked down (such pride)-I shouldn't be right? Hmmm!! I don't know anymore....but what I do know is that I want to contact someone who hurt me and she really tried to work it out with me and be cool and cordial-me on the other hand I was so hurt I basically told her to fuck off ughhh!! ...I want to contact her to see how she's doing and how are things with her *shrugs*-HELP!! Link

BLESS monday :)

I'm at my school now getting my fiancial papers ready for next semester-BLAH!! I can honestly and proudly say I am having a BLESS monday :) what about you? from today I plan on to continue having a BLESS day....let the little stuff past my shoulders and if it does I'll remember to brush it off! Last week I think on a wednesday I went to church for the first time in a long time LOL-I'm not religious or anything like that but I need to start going to church and show GOD how much I am able to do alot with him in my life and how much I apreciate his wonderful miracles :) ....so from now on I will try to make it a "regular thing' hope you al are having a BLESS monday! Link

Missed this CREATIVE world:)***I'm BACK!!

me at the International African Festival in BK

OMG I really don't know where to start here....*pauses* Hmm!!

It has been a long time since I stepped foot into this wonderful, creative world! Alot has happened since last I was here....some things turned out to be good and some not so well..well that's how I'm learning to be a better person to myself and to others in my life.

What I know is as of today I am really starting to take some time off of things I made the top priorities in my life which only putting me behind-I really didn't need anyone to tell me I'm fucking up...I know I've fucked up and it's so not like me.. Ever since friday night I realized that I need to slow down on certain things, and just fucking relax for once...it's obvious I made a fool of myself friday night and my friends had to babysat me-fucked-up!!

I won't be getting into much details on how I fucked-up but lets just say PMSin', depression, confusion, hurt and drunk=COMPLETE DISASTER!!!!!! I am ashamed for my behavior and how immature I was in public and worst thing in front of the people I love and care about-hot mess Val ughhh!!

I have decided to deactivate my FB account for a while-I need a break from all these damn networking and get on my grinds!!

What's new with me? Hmmm!!

I am taking my driving lessons (damn how long?) LOL!- but this time I know for sure I will have my license :) I am that confident!

I am taking this one english class (the short story)-very interesting!

Taking life easy and take on step at a time....and not to sweat the small stuff...*brushing them off* it's all good babbii lol

I am also learning to forgive people that done me wrong-we all hurt sometimes but as long as we acknowledge our fucked-up behavior! Link

the importance of MOM and true FRIENDS!!

Hello all, I know I've been away for quite some time now-I've been very busy. I had to register for school...do my financial papers, you know basically get my shyt together (so have to go back), plus work has been keeping me away. Oh, umm I also haven't been myself for a couple of days...like a week or so due to some nasty horrible flu :( To tell you the truth, I thought that was the end for me that's how sick I was, I didn't go to work that whole entire week nor even attend the events I was supposed to volunteer at. That's how sick I was, I was in bed all day and everyday. BUT the only person that really made me feel better of course besides GOD was my mother-dad is away back home. But mom of course is always there when in need even when not in need she knows it :) Seriously without GOD spiritually and mom who made sure I put something in my belly (cause a bad cold takes away your appetite completely) and I was feeling weak and tired easily. So mom took care of me. She's a FUCKING ANGEL and I thank GOD for having the best mom ever!!!! So for the ppl that thinks "there's a time in your life you need to grow up and take care of yourself and be independent, you don't need mom anymore" and I'd say to them "Just shut it up!! wonder what kind of mom raised you that you don't think you'll never need her?"" then I would roll my eyes* Yes there are points in our lives we need to be independent and take care of ourselves but the feeling of knowing and having that wonderful mom-her touch (when she touches my neck and forehead to see if I have the fever), her soothing words (asking how I'm feeling every couple of mins. And telling me I will be well soon and not to worry. And everytime I thanked her shereplies "don't thank me, it"s my job"). Her support (always made sure I eat at least soup and take my meds) oh did I mentioned she's the fucking best? Well she's a fucking ANGEL!!!! ::::sippin' on some theraflu::::: Ok....I may not say it well and I don't care right now, but I'm sure you've heard of "When you're in need or sick that's when you can really tell for sure who your true friends are?" well I did came to that conclusion or "That's when you know for sure who really gives a shyt about you (the ppl in your life) whoever" guess what? I think GOD was trying to make me see something....I know you may think "what is she talking about?" But read carefully please and it's the fucking truth!!!! My best friend, val was there for me throughout my entire sickness, by calling me every couple of hours each day, she even came to my house to give me some med she thought might be good to take. Now there's a few peeps I'm cool with at work (well won't be anymore), did they even texted me to ask how I was feeling? NO FUCKING WAY!!! Guess what? Not even my own manager LOL....yup I'm serious, but let's leave it at that. Now he just texted me asking me "hey plo, you feeling better to work today?" Come on guys what should I replied back? Should I text back telling him "to go fuck his fat self"? Or to just "fuck you fat fuck?" Or just ignore it? Still debating Mmmm!!! Oh something else, this is how much I'm loved by plenty you guys-I was supposed to be at SOBS to do some volunteering work, ok I emailed the lady who's in charge and the person I was supposed to work with at 3 fucking something in the morning and texted them, ok I got a reply from the person I was supposed to work with but not the lady who's in charge of the local outreached-Mmmm!! Wonder why! Maybe she was upset cause I could not make it, or whatever the reason is, but whatever it is my health comes first-I'm sorry I was hack hack hack and feeling weak, sick all over and all I could do is stay in bed rather than go out in this cold and take the freaking public tranportation...sorry I couldn't go out to make myself worst, oh that event was supposed to be more important than my own fucking health, I didn't know it worked like that smhhh!!!But my point is I now came to a realization and have a true understanding of a good friendship, and the the appreciation of the great ppl I have in my life. THANK YOU GOD AGAIN AND MOM!! Link

How annoying-ughhh!!

Ok this is something I had to share with you all which I'm sure some of you (New Yorkers) already experienced and know how it can be on the trains of NYC. And maybe some who doesn't have to do the NYC transit but sure deal with public transportation period. I've been taking public transportation for a long time and believe me I know all about the DOS and the DON'TS, I've been on the train from early to mid day, and throughout the night (basically that's how I go about). I love taking the trains, the transfering from one spot to the other, go up and down, uptown, downtown, midtwon, eastside, west side, parkside, parkview and so on-good experience-believe me lol. But, just like I'm a subway rider and love the NYC public transportation is the same way I have alot of pet peeves about it, and sometimes just wish I was the only one who takes the subway.

Some of the other passengers I ride with on the train really thinks it's their private world, and some thinks it's their livingroom or their backyard, or may think they're at the park.

ATTN: and this goes out especially to the black folks-no self-respect, no good behavior with themselves and their kids.

I don't like it when a group of young girls gets so loud on the train that the whole car can hear them-who cares about you and your boyfriend having sex?

No one cares about you smacking that girl from your class who gave you the dirty look!

No one cares about where you're going friday night!

No one cares about the type of labels you wear-ughhh so ghetto!!

****NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT KIND/TYPE OF MUSIC YOU'RE LISTENING TO***COME ON PLEASE, TURN THAT VOLUME DOWN-NOT THAT WE CARE IF YOU GO DEAF BUT I AM TRYING TO READ THE NEWSPAPER, OR A BOOK, EVEN WANT TO LISTEN TO MY OWN MUSIC ON MY IPOD..BELIEVE I DON'T CARE!!

I had a long day at work or at school and sometimes both, I am tired and need to rest my legs, do I care if you have ten kids with you? NO!

I don't hate kids or anything like that but when you see a young female with a stroller and two more kids on the side, and it's obvious she wasn't ready to have these kids. Especially if the kids have no manners, and doesn't know how to behave that's when my mean side takes place and just let her stand with her lil bastards-yeah yeah I'm mean but I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from and what I mean by that. I'm sorry I've had a long day WORKING OR WAS AT SCHOOL, DOING SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE AND THESE YOUNG ONES ON THE OTHER HAND RATHER SPREAD THEIR LEGS AND HAVE BABIES LIKE THEY'RE READY AND THE ECONOMY IS GREAT!! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY SEAT AND NO YOU CAN NOT SQUEEZE IN AND MAKE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!!

I pay my fare so why should I be uncomfortable for you with 10 kids?

What I also hate is when bums come on the train and begs for money meanwhile there are help out there-my taxes and other New Yorkers taxes pay for your shelter and your well being, so why not use it?

I know I can be judgemnetal but this is the truth!

You're an American, you were born and raised in the US and I'm sure they have more help for them, alot of apportunities for them-hello it's your country why not take advantage?

But they rather be lazy and depend on the government and abuse it and don't appreciate the opportunities. They rather sit and blame the "white men and the government for their lazy asses.

My taxes, my working hard pays for your welfare and the places that you need to go to get some help..please do that!

I don't hate anyone nor have anything against anybody but when it comes to trying to use me and don't see that I'm trying and even take it into consideration and take take and take that's when I say FU!!

Don't you hate when you're waiting for the train, especially during rush hour, the train be packed and there's more people coming in....all of a sudden the train gets right in front of you that's when people becomes savages? Their savegeness comes out-LOL to that.

I hate being pushed and rushed..I let them know it't not that serious lol..for real it really isn't.

oh wait wait..they get inside the train all in your way and looking for the best seats lol!

like come on get out of my way so I can seat.

Like I said this isn't to be mean or a bytch but just annoying to me and to others.

I know I may offend some people but this is the truth-sorry!

So you tell me what you think and how you deal with it when you get on the train/next time you get on the train.

Thanks!

Link