...so far I'm still contemplating....

....now why do I have a feeling I'll be an intern at the UN or at the ABC News Studio? I'd really like to work with the great Stepehn King :-) but of course not dreams like that will take FOREVER...unless I have that connection which I can try to pull but I'm not gonna stress it..it'll come to me. I believe it. So it's one math credit (math is my enemy right now) then internship. Two years ago I thought of transferring to Hunter after all Hunter offers alot of English courses that will do me good but since I plan on moving out of state I might as well start looking into schools where I plan on moving. Now I am so excited for something that's going to happen next year..at the end of next year...no I can't wait already lol. God is with me on this and got my back :-) Maybe I should stop right there because I have a tendency of getting all excited for something that's supposed to happen but because I'm too hype about it it turns out the other way...so let's just say we shall see huh!

I am only human now back OFF w/ a ☺

I am human-I am living...I have flaws-I'm only human...Iam sensitive-I cry to some silly things you may find funny or would never cry over-my feelings are different from yours-after all I am human..I have hurt-I've been hurt but I get over it-because I am learning...I view the world totally different from others because we are all different yet the same godamn species-we are human....I have judged-discriminated-hated-treated others bad but I have learned that shit won't get me, you or anyone anywhere-I have learned to appreciate others for who they are-they're only human....I care and sometimes too caring-am I going to change who I am because assholes doesn't appreciate that? HELL NO!-I am human....I have ♥ to give and share-I am human..........................I am living..loving..appreciating life for what it has to offer............now are you?


....no this isn't a poem, don't try to view it this way. It's not a lyric either!
No this is not about anyone in specific-GENERAL! So stop trying to figure out or assume this is about you cause it isn't!
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One of my favorite songs....Adele - Chasing Pavements

this is one of my favorite songs.....I know I'm late-always! I think you're going to like it..everytime I hear this song it does something to me :-) enjoy! Link

Sorry I wasn't the good friend to you!

This past week I feel like the world is against me...everyone is against me-that's how I feel right now...

Promised myself not to cry again...especially over something I have no control of. I can't keep stressing it and going back and forth.

I just want to scream on top of my lungs right now.

I've lost ppl! People I considered true friends, and even sisters. Even when we do go back to being cool..it's just not the same but always hoping to get back the way we were.
I really believe I'm one of those types that isn't lucky with ppl, I don't believe I'm those types where I have a friend and know for a while and never had to cut or for them to cut me out their life..even if we do back to being cool ..it's just different.
I never said I'm perfect, I never play the victim-why should I? If I fuck-up believe me I'll feel like I need to contact whoever and talk things out and apologize-fuck it! But I didn't do shit! I didn't fuck up!
I was not the one that assumed shit about ppl and automatically delete out their life-not me! I make sure I have good reasons, where they truly deserved it.

I am hurt to the point I'm still numb, my eyes, heart, body and head hurts. My nose was bleeding earlier! I've been cramping..I'm just a fucking emotional wreck and it's not cool! Everyone wants to take other ppls side when they're not even trying to understand what really happened or maybe they're not trying to understand or even care what happened...OUCH! But again I've been accused of lying and was told I am "dramatic" smh! Me dramatic? Are you kidding me? This must be some kind of a fucking joke cause I don't play with my feelings or have to lie about anything. Now there goes another blow!

You chose to get rid of me as a friend because of something so petty? Hey your wish is well respected. I'm not the one and can't be the one to beg for friendship...I can't anymore..I am emotionally, mentally drained. I don't have the strength for that-I'm sorry!
I can't! *shrugs*

When ppl moved on and don't need your friendship anymore they try very hard to start something..hey you won! I give up!

I need to start doing some cleansing! Mentally, physically and spiritually! I can really use some positivity in my life. I'm sure that'll work.

Like my friends say "Everyone enters your life for a season and a reason, now it's time to let them go".

*sigh* I'm here at the Promenade sitting here thinking and trying to clear my head.
I feel so lonely and just in this world where now I can't lean or be too close with anyone. I feel like getting myself too close will be a problem, that they'll just run away. I don't want to feel like this-that shit hurts!

If you happen to read this I'd like to thank you for those time we've known each other..and hope life continue well with you! GOD bless!

-----------------------------------------------------------

I hope this week goes well for me. Going to start taking yoga classes, continue with my jogging and take care of me more. Start working on myself. Be a better individual. I'm not afraid! I plan on taking the risk!

:-)
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Lately!

Hello world!

I know I've been away for a while now and I guess I have no excuses-laziness!

Have you ever have this blah feeling where you're not tired or depressed just straight blah! It's worst than being depressed because when you're depressed you know why you're depressed and sad about and may fix the problem. Maybe ppl in your life might make you feel better. But the blah feeling is something no one can help you with, sometimes you can't figure out the problem or why you're such in a mood.
Everything is fine---I know they are. Although things could be better but I'm satisfied for now, I just got to get this blah feeling out of the way and start feeling like myself again.

I need to seriously start making some changes. I am willing to take the risk and to get rejected (if it comes to that).

Are you ready with me?
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SWEETHEAT '10 HERE I COME!

So this year I will be attending The SweetHeat Miami Pride-that'll be their 3rd annual event.

If any of you lovely rainbow birds are attending and interested this is the events and locations and don't forget about the fees-enjoy!

MEET , GREET & TWEET

Pick up your VIP tickets and know whats going on during SweetHeat Weekend...Meet with other SweetHeat Attendees from around the World.. Location : Royal Palm 1545 Collins Avenue Free...In the Lobby of The Hotel.. Time 6 p.m. - 9 p.m

Thursday Night

Welcome To Miami hosted by Miamis Rap Queen TRINA SweetHeat Miami & SofTouch P.A.N.I.C. Productions presents A HollyWood Affair with Tomboyz Quarterly Hosted by : Siya Location : Club Cinema 637 Washington Ave. Time : 11 p.m. - 5 a.m. Adm : $10 all night Soundtrack provided by Dj Dimples & Dj Osh

Friday DAY

SweetHeat Pool Party THE WETTEST SECRET Sponsored by SofTouch/ P.A.N.I.C. Prod Location: Savoy Hotel - 425 Ocean Drive Hosted by KING MAGAZINE MODELS LAEANN AMOS AND BUBBLES 1 p.m. - 9 p.m. Make sure you have on the sexiest bikinis EVER!!! Prizes will be given out... Adm: $15 Soundtrack Provided by Dj Pursue, Dj MaryMac, Dj Osh

Friday Night

The Art of Partying / EYES WIDE SHUT MASQUERADE...wear your masks.... Come Fly, and Come Sexier Than You Ever Have In Your Lifeeee..... Flaunt Your Taste.. Location : Club Living Room 671 Washington Ave Doors open at 11 p.m - 6 a.m. Adm : $25 before 1230/ 30 after/ $40 (express entry) Hosted by KING MAGAZINE MODEL MIA MILANO Soundtrack Provided By Dj Pursue , Dj MaryMac

Saturday Morning

MOIST SOUTH BEACH Wet T-Shirt Contest / Open Mic Your Favorite MC's will be performing.. Location Club Cinema Time: 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. Hosted by : Siya Adm $10 Soundtrack Dj Pursue

Saturday Evening

SEKS MIAMI SWEETHEAT EDITION The Sexiest Poetry Affair EVER.... Location : Time : 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. Adm $10 Musical Background Provided by Dj Osh

Saturday Night

QUEENDOM - THE ALL WHITE AFFAIR Location : Klutch 136 Collins Avenue Time 11 p.m. - 5 a.m. Adm: $25 before 12 midnight / $35 after/ $50 (express entry) Hosted by : Soundtrack provided by Dj MaryMac Dj Dimples Dj Pursue

Sunday DAY

The WILD N WET BALL/ POOL PARTY PART 2 Hosted by Mother Reign Moulin , Mother Jaimee Baleinciaga King Magazine Model Barbie Brittania Time 1 p.m. - 8 p.m. Location : Savoy Hotel 425 Ocean Drive Adm : $15 before 3 / $20 after 4

Sunday NIGHT

SofTouch/ P.A.N.I.C. Presents BLISSSSSS - LOVE YOUR DJAYS... THE SEXIEST PARTY ON EARTH WOMENS NATION LOCATION : Club Living Room 671 Washington Ave. Time 11 p.m. - 5 a.m. Adm: $10 before 1 am 20 after 1 a.m. Hosted by : Siya Adm: $10 Soundtrack Provided by Dj Dimples, Dj Pursue, Dj Mary Mac, Dj Osh

Link

Lately!

Good morning world!

It is exactly 6:15am on a sunday morning. can you believe it's March already? I can!

Sippin' on my Zen tea-yummm!

I was supposed to be getting ready for work right now for 8am but I called out, I'm unable to make it. I can not go to work with my hand looking like this. The flesh is out. It peeled off and it hurts.

Anywho, I need to start working on my blogs more...I'm getting behind.
A lot has happened from the last time I was here. My dad finally went back home to visit. He said everyone is doing well-thank GOD!

I'm going to SF for my birthday. I am so HAPPY. First time going there. Ppl I shared that with told me it's a great place and I'll have a great time :-) so I'm hype about that.
I've never been there. My friends were like "Wow Val, alone? What are you gonna do over there?" Ummm..visit..and what's wrong with taking a vacation by yourself anyway? Sometimes you just need that alone time where you just go and leave your area for a while and do you-like a soaring butterfly lol
I could've invited my friends to go with me but first I don't they'll want to go on somewhat short notice, secondly I really want this to be a "Val away alone" time you know. They didn't take it personal and I'm glad :-)
Booked flight since the end of Jan. I wasn't thinking about getting a package (flight & hotel) so now I still have to worry about hotel-wouldn't want to go there being homeless like a bumm do we now? LOL

Everything is ok on my hand but of course it could be better. But let's not start complaining or else things might get worst.

So hopefully the next post will be a BETTER one!
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